Glimpses of the past year

March 31, 2008

On top of the Arc D'Triomphe. The city of lights hurries by. The brake lights of cars on the Boulevard Champs Elysses twinkle like Christmas lights. The sun sets bringing orange, pink and red hues behind grey-blue clouds. I can see camera flashes from people taking pictures from atop the Eiffel Tower. From one side, the Dome can be see, from the others, stark glass skyscrapers. I can see Montmarte and the tops of apartment buildings. A cool breeze reminds me of the end of a warm day. I feel so far from home right now. I face the sunset and I face the direction of home. The lights The lights on the Eiffel Tower just turned on. I was waiting for that.

I tried to find my way back to Rue Bichat on the Metro, but couldn't figure it out. I started walking towards the Eiffel Tower again. It was sparkling like fireworks or a disco ball. There was also a spotlight at the top. That happens everynight at dusk. I saw all of the posh apartments along the way and young rich people leaving their flats for a night out. Phoene was right, there really are no cafes or restaurants or anything in that area. It's really nice though. I found a Metro and started heading back toward Republique. The lonely feeling I got on top of the Arc D'Triomphe increased. I don't know why. MAybe it was because I was so far from anyone I knew. I felt free, but almost afraid in a way. I thought of mom and how she probably never thought that her son would be living so far away from her for so long. Going on adventures like walking to Champ Elysses and climbing 284 steps to the top of the Arc D'Triomphe to watch the set and the lights turn on in the city of Paris. I had a strong sense of longing up there. Like wanting so much at the same time it becomes overwheliming and it just feels like your skin all over your body tingles or hurts and your tear ducts swell up and you swallow or blink and the moment is gone, you just feel the need and accept it.

I wanted to be home, I wanted the adventure to be over, I wanted to go everywhere in the world but home, I wanted someone to share the moment with, I wanted to be alone, I wanted to live here, I wanted to show my pictures to my mom and hear her ooh and ahh and probably cry. I wanted more words to desctibe what I felt, I wanted to just sit and enjoy that moment with all the other tourists from America, Japan, Korea, Italy, Greece, Africa, Wherever; all of us perched on top of the Arc alone in space, abandoned, forgtten as the world scurries on like thousands of insects hundreds of feet below.