Despite the fact that John and I listened to only thirty seconds of the Randy Newman song last night, that is not what this post is about. When I worked on Monday night, a probably-self-proclaimed "Redneck Woman" stumbled in the front door of the hotel. Her friend who bobbed back-and-forth past the desk a few minutes earlier had told me that the girl outside was drunk on tequila. (I have a feeling she was too...an infant's first steps are more graceful...) So, she stumbles in and asks for the key to a room. I hadn't seen her so I asked her for a last name (trying to keep her away from guests that she might not know). The conversation then went something like this:
Me: What's the last name?
Redneck Woman (hereafter RW): Carroll, Gaitlin, Munson, Gaitlin, I don't know! Ow! [RW fell against the wall] Don't be a prick!
Me: I'm not being a prick.
RW: It's room 121!! Ow! Fuck! [RW dropped her head onto the counter but happened to knick her forehead on the top of a clipboard] God damnit! That fucking hurt! ...don't be a little prick!
[Key placed in RW's hand] Thanks, sweet heart...Ow! Fuck! God Damnit! [RW fades away, cursing, as she heads towards room 121]
The other reason that I told this story is that I found out today that she is from Texas, which brings more evidence to the family case to put a bio-dome over the state of Texas so that no one can leave (or get in). I guess I will have to inform the government when little miss prick goes back - that way no one outside of the state will ever have to deal with this redneck bitch ever again.
"We're rednecks...And we don't know our ass from a hole in the ground" - Randy Newman "Rednecks"
Me: What's the last name?
Redneck Woman (hereafter RW): Carroll, Gaitlin, Munson, Gaitlin, I don't know! Ow! [RW fell against the wall] Don't be a prick!
Me: I'm not being a prick.
RW: It's room 121!! Ow! Fuck! [RW dropped her head onto the counter but happened to knick her forehead on the top of a clipboard] God damnit! That fucking hurt! ...don't be a little prick!
[Key placed in RW's hand] Thanks, sweet heart...Ow! Fuck! God Damnit! [RW fades away, cursing, as she heads towards room 121]
The other reason that I told this story is that I found out today that she is from Texas, which brings more evidence to the family case to put a bio-dome over the state of Texas so that no one can leave (or get in). I guess I will have to inform the government when little miss prick goes back - that way no one outside of the state will ever have to deal with this redneck bitch ever again.
"We're rednecks...And we don't know our ass from a hole in the ground" - Randy Newman "Rednecks"
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